Just some thoughts

• If you can speak more than one language fluently what language do you speak in your dreams
• Turkey is not nearly as good as chicken when it comes to flavor
• Doctors take the Hippocratic Oath, shouldn't politicians have something like that
• Cuts and bruises that happen without notice are the worst
• Fake fruits are sometimes too realistic
  

Laundry Sucks

I was doing laundry like I normally do and the tablecloth happened to be in this load. I was taking everything out of the dryer, just 40 minutes on permanent press. As I was taking the tablecloth out I heard the static electricity crackling and I felt a few little shocks on my hands. Being a huge tablecloth it one edge happened to touch my shorts. IT HURT. The tablecloth zapped me right where it counts, right on the tip. This is the first time it has ever happened and I will never forget it. I was just in shock (no pun intended) and it hurt quite a bit for at least 6 minutes after.
Moral: BE CAREFUL WHEN DOING LAUNDRY

Guess what I saw

I was walking into my pediatrician's waiting room and there it was, a woman breastfeeding her baby. She was the only one there besides the nurses at the desk but there she was just casually breastfeeding her baby not even trying to be discreet about it. Everything was just out there and in all my years going there I've never seen that happen. It shocked me a little and was a bit of a surprise. Here's a crappy picture that details it.

Quotes

"SOMEBODY SLAP ME OR THROW A COLD CUP OF WATER WITH SOME ICE, A TWIST OF LEMON AND A SPRIG OF MINT ON MY FACE"

"you lie like a rug!!!"

"goodnight and good luck, you communist bastards"

Overheard now disturbed

Somebody said this in one of my classes and it freaked me out
"there are some people in my classes who I hate so much I want to kick them so they will sing soprano for the rest of their lives but I don't"

Great places to play laser tag or capture the flag

• Central Park at night
• Barnes & Nobles (the bigger the better)
• CVS
• Huge schools (especially mine)
• Target
• Best Buy
• Dicks Sporting Goods (camping and hunting section is the best)
  
• Abandoned warehouses
• Any huge clothing store with multiple stories
  

Scary movies and camp

I'll admit it, I'm a camp person. For my last 6 summers I've been going to a sleep away camp for two months. We live in bunks which are made of wood but it's painted so you don't even get the log cabin feel. There's a whole list of things that we are not supposed to bring but we bring it anyway. Forbidden items include hotpots (the food there isn't always that great) and DVD players. So one night my bunk decided to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the middle of the night. It had our entire bunk scared for the rest of the summer. Not only is the bunk made out of wood that a chainsaw can easily cut through but their are thin cracks in the walls and in the bathroom floor but that's besides the point. After seeing the movie our counselors decide to take us star gazing. So later that week we go down to the golf course for star gazing at night. To get to the golf course you need to walk down a hill with woods on each side and only the moon to light the path. We bunch together, scrambling to be as far away from the edge of the road as possible. We were too scared to care about the stars that night because the only thing on our minds was the thought of some maniac running at us with a chainsaw with nowhere to run or hide. That was one of the scariest moments in my life and it made me run anytime I had to get from one place to another at night for the rest of the summer.

Piñatas are scary

I was walking in Manhattan late Friday night, it was really dark and I see a black cat out of the corner of my eye. It goes under a parked car in the street and doesn't come out the other side of the car. I think wow, creepy. I turn around and start walking to one of the side doors of the apartment building I was staying at. BAM!!! There's a creepy ass pinata on the hood of someone's car just staring at me. It freaked me the hell out and made me jump back a few feet. The way the light was shining on it only made it worse and it's eyes were just huge stickers. I honestly have not been scared like that in a really long time.

Penguins

I wasn't kidding when I said I liked drawing penguins and this is just a fraction of my drawings. The rest are in my moleskin.

Banana Condom Story

My freshman year of high school is when all the talks started. I got talks about everything, sex, relationships, protection, no means no (my favorite) and more. I came home one night and my parents were watching TV on the couch. They asked me to sit down. I did. My stepfather went to the jacket closet and took out a condom from one of his jackets. I guess they had been planning this (I hope at least). My mom went to the kitchen and got a banana. All this time I had been laughing uncontrollably pretty much spazzing out in my chair. They both sat back down and demonstrated proper condom use on the banana. As soon as it was on I took out my phone and luckily it had a camera on it (camera phones are useful!) and took a memorable snapshot. The picture has been on my phone ever since and over 90% of people who see it think the banana is a penis no matter what I say. Also, the banana happens to be slightly curved which adds to the illusion. Also in the picture my mom is in the background in the middle of laughing while holding the banana.

Just some thoughts

• There is definitely something appealing about smooth folded lined paper
• "we'll take it slow, it will be fun and you'll get on top of it"(math teacher)
• "I don't beg to differ, I differ to beg"
• Flavored condoms, whose idea was that
• Why do people make huge houses with huge fences and lawns made of cement with no grass
• Weeping willow, pissed of pine
• "Ever see the movie kidnapped" (my creepy orthodontist)
  

I hate my orthodontist

I've had nothing but bad luck with my orthodontists, both of them. I hate them both so much and not just because they are the ones tightening my braces because that would be just stupid. I can back up my hatred with facts. My old orthodontist was pretty old at least late 60's, not so steady with his hands. He would constantly drop his tools on me, cut my gums, hold on to a handshake much more than needed, try to converse with me while tightening my braces and expect me to talk back in the middle of it, and he would almost always put his hand on mine while I was lying down in the chair and he was talking to me. My new orthodontist isn't so old but he's pretty much just as bad. His office is like Pee Wee's playhouse, it's full of different colors, plasma panels (like plasma globes but flat), an N64, a train set and other random things. He always uses me as a second desk, just throwing down the folder on me, gives me pink bands, chokes me by putting his arm over my neck, drops the chair out of nowhere and he gives hugs. Now that I've covered individual traits here are some they share: they both have spat in my mouth because they weren't wearing a mask, dropped sharp tools on my neck, and covered my face completely without much room to breathe. I think I could make a nice venn diagram of this, maybe I'll do that later.

Honestly

Honestly, I'm just procrastinating and not finishing my essay by doing this but this beats writing an essay any day.

Background Info

I'm in high school and I'm a Jewish guy dating a Muslim girl. We started going out a bit more than a month before the end of school. Our parents didn't know about it and it was intended to stay that way. We both wrote each other something and I hid mine before I left for 2 months of sleep away camp. It turns out my room was getting re-painted because of some cracks in the wall and they had to move everything around. My mom found my letter which was a picture of us with writing on the back and some hearts on the front. Because she saw the hearts she decided she NEEDED to read my letter and she figured it out from there. I came home to find the picture framed and hung up on the wall of my room. I was pissed and to make things worse she started giving me all the "talks" and lectures. Apparently every time I'm on my phone I'm talking to my girlfriend, according to my mom at least and whenever she thinks this she gives me a nice big smile that's not awkward at all.

Just some thoughts

Random things I've thought of or seen

• Plants with seasonal clothing
• Documentary on people with no fingernails
  
• Better scarred then scared
• Homeless that ignore your contributions
• Mini-motorized disco balls
• Debbie Downer=Negative Nancy
• Psychoactive Pets
  

Guess what I saw on the subway

I was waiting for the A train at Port Authority this Saturday and I saw this old woman come to the edge of the track and empty a bed pan full of some yellowish liquid. As soon as she poured it out the whole track smelled like urine. She was wearing what looked like plastic bags as boots and it just wreaked.
Best 10 minute wait for a train ever.

I was sitting down on one of the double sided benches at Port Authority waiting for another train and all of a sudden I hear this loud irritating scraping noise. I turn around and see some homeless guy scraping the bottom of his 2 inch yellow fingernails.
Second best 10 minute wait for a train ever

First Post

So, this is my first post and I have a lot to catch up to and yes the title is a reference to Wet Hot American Summer.
Unfortunately I have work I must finish so I will be doing this again later.
This is fun.