What's For Dinner

I had to write this for one of my classes and it was supposed to be this way
What's For Dinner
I woke up at the crack of dawn
I needed to giver her her breakfast
She awoke from her slumber slowly and calm
Her hair shone in the warm yellow light of the sun
The air smelled of that sweet morning dew
You could hear the birds chirping in the distance
I sat down beside her and put my arm around her
I stroked her silky black hair and swatted at the flies buzzing around her face
I left her alone to get started on the rest of my chores
Goodbye Bessie, I'll see you for dinner

Bud?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: bud

Stranger: hi

Stranger: bud?

You: yes

You: you know, goop

Stranger: is that a drug referance?

You: ...

Stranger: I'm bud right now

Stranger: smokin bud

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Things I learned

• No matter where you go in life you will find body doubles of people you know
• Sobriety does not always mean clarity
• You're not a real biker until you get your first injury or mishap
• Baking soda is not something that should be left out of oatmeal cookies
• Omegle will always yield funny/odd people
• Old men in tweed suits are not the only people who smoke from pipes

Four months later...have some quotes

• "my first class is at eleven tomorrow"
  "you can get shit pants drunk tonight"
• "fuck doing homework" "(police siren)"
• "smiles are the only good contagious things"
• "I went to Hooters once, my dad took me"
• "my dad danced once, he was naked, it was wrong"
  

Random

• Walking home from anywhere when it's dark out while holding a couple balloons is a terrible idea, luckily nothing happened, except a 4 year old tried to grab one
• Walking with a lawn mower on behind you can be one of the scariest things ever, especially when you hear the engine make a sound that doesn't sound good
• I hate how it costs $12.50 to see a movie and then they ask you if you would like to donate a dollar to charity
• One of my friends has these jeans that can't be washed for a while so he stuffed the pockets with dryer sheets to make them smell good but he used way too many and he smelled like fresh laundry from 6 feet away, not such a bad thing

Weird Dream

I've been having some really weird dreams lately. One involved me trying to find a good pair of socks in what seemed like an infinite sock drawer. I just kept on reaching and pulling all the little sock bundles towards me but I could never get to that one good pair I knew was in the back with the little red Hanes on it. Most comfortable socks I own. Is there a complex meaning behind this strange dream? Probably not. I think I just needed to do some more laundry.

Mothers Day

Being the amazing but procrastinating son I am I waited till the night before to buy my mom a card.  I went out to CVS to pick up a card because I'm too old to make them without it seeming cheap.  Not to my surprise, I was not the only bad son there.  There were at least 6 other guys looking for cards.  Either that or they just wanted to stand in the card aisle to seem busy.  As for my present I said I was gonna take her out to breakfast or dinner but I wasted too much money seeing iron man 2, $12.50 used to get me a ticket, popcorn and soda but it just gets me a ticket now.  I decided to make her breakfast and dinner which meant I was spending my mom's money as her present.  It meant even more to her because my step-dad belittled my idea in front of her, so thanks to him for speaking his mind and making my mom appreciate it even more.