What's For Dinner

I had to write this for one of my classes and it was supposed to be this way
What's For Dinner
I woke up at the crack of dawn
I needed to giver her her breakfast
She awoke from her slumber slowly and calm
Her hair shone in the warm yellow light of the sun
The air smelled of that sweet morning dew
You could hear the birds chirping in the distance
I sat down beside her and put my arm around her
I stroked her silky black hair and swatted at the flies buzzing around her face
I left her alone to get started on the rest of my chores
Goodbye Bessie, I'll see you for dinner

Bud?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: bud

Stranger: hi

Stranger: bud?

You: yes

You: you know, goop

Stranger: is that a drug referance?

You: ...

Stranger: I'm bud right now

Stranger: smokin bud

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Things I learned

• No matter where you go in life you will find body doubles of people you know
• Sobriety does not always mean clarity
• You're not a real biker until you get your first injury or mishap
• Baking soda is not something that should be left out of oatmeal cookies
• Omegle will always yield funny/odd people
• Old men in tweed suits are not the only people who smoke from pipes

Four months later...have some quotes

• "my first class is at eleven tomorrow"
  "you can get shit pants drunk tonight"
• "fuck doing homework" "(police siren)"
• "smiles are the only good contagious things"
• "I went to Hooters once, my dad took me"
• "my dad danced once, he was naked, it was wrong"
  

Random

• Walking home from anywhere when it's dark out while holding a couple balloons is a terrible idea, luckily nothing happened, except a 4 year old tried to grab one
• Walking with a lawn mower on behind you can be one of the scariest things ever, especially when you hear the engine make a sound that doesn't sound good
• I hate how it costs $12.50 to see a movie and then they ask you if you would like to donate a dollar to charity
• One of my friends has these jeans that can't be washed for a while so he stuffed the pockets with dryer sheets to make them smell good but he used way too many and he smelled like fresh laundry from 6 feet away, not such a bad thing

Weird Dream

I've been having some really weird dreams lately. One involved me trying to find a good pair of socks in what seemed like an infinite sock drawer. I just kept on reaching and pulling all the little sock bundles towards me but I could never get to that one good pair I knew was in the back with the little red Hanes on it. Most comfortable socks I own. Is there a complex meaning behind this strange dream? Probably not. I think I just needed to do some more laundry.

Mothers Day

Being the amazing but procrastinating son I am I waited till the night before to buy my mom a card.  I went out to CVS to pick up a card because I'm too old to make them without it seeming cheap.  Not to my surprise, I was not the only bad son there.  There were at least 6 other guys looking for cards.  Either that or they just wanted to stand in the card aisle to seem busy.  As for my present I said I was gonna take her out to breakfast or dinner but I wasted too much money seeing iron man 2, $12.50 used to get me a ticket, popcorn and soda but it just gets me a ticket now.  I decided to make her breakfast and dinner which meant I was spending my mom's money as her present.  It meant even more to her because my step-dad belittled my idea in front of her, so thanks to him for speaking his mind and making my mom appreciate it even more.

Happy Meal?

I think McDonalds and Jersey Shore should make a business deal like when the new kids movies come out they have all new themed happy meals. I think Jersey Shore should to do that. They can capture another audience for their show and ensure the next generation of guidos and guidettes. For the toys they could have little bottles of hair gel, tanning lotion, maybe some of those talking toys and even crabs, just like the real cast has.

Quotes

• "Your beard looks extra grizzly today" -teacher to me
  
• 'If I don't go home and bust a nut I don't know what's gonna happen" -Hispanic guido at LIRR station
• "when that shit comes in a plastic box you know it's good"
• "I remember you" -old creepy babysitter to me on the street
  

My Camera

I've been using my dad's old camera lately, it's a Nikon FE2. It's really old but it still works amazingly well. I'm about to buy a new macro lens for it. These are some pictures that I'm really happy with.

Nikon FE2

Beards and Shakespeare

When I started my senior year of high school I decided that I wanted it to be fun and not too hard. I chose my classes carefully, making sure I didn't pick the ones that would drown me in boring assignments even though that still happens, just not as much as it could have been. I also wanted to do some fun extracurricular activities. I've been doing all three seasons of track since freshman year but it's not exactly fun fun, it's more like hard work with a little bit of fun sprinkled in. So, one day in English class my teacher made an announcement about the Shakespeare club at my school and how they would be performing Shakespeare's Twelfth Night (yes I just italicized that) later on in the year and that they were looking for people to join and perform. On a whim I decided on the spot that I should join. I thought, this should be fun and I've always wanted to act but never have. Skipping all the boring stuff in between then and now, we'll be performing sometime in April and I'll be playing Duke Orsino. You might be wondering how this relates to beards and I promise you there's a good reason and an even better idea that came out of this. When winter came I was clean shaven and cold but I didn't want to wear a scarf. So, I grew out my beard nice and thick to protect my chin, neck and cheeks from the brutal cold weather. Now since my beard hair doesn't really grow out at this point like my sideburns do it just curls up and creates a very warm blanket of heat and by the time it grew out I had started Shakespeare club. The teacher in charge told me I would have to grow out my beard until the play and that's what I'm gonna do. Now, I have about three months till the show and I think it is fitting to give my beard a name but I just don't know what to call it. Also, I think I want it to have its own blog. Only time will tell what will happen from here on out.

Terrible Secret

Like any other person, I love Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Especially phish food and chocolate fudge brownie but not because I like chocolate. In fact, strawberry is my favorite flavor (when it's made with real strawberries and not chemical crap). I love those flavors because they're like a kinder egg, not only do you get the ice cream but you get the extra stuff that's in it. The caramel swirls, marshmallow bits and chocolate fishes and the big brownie chunks. The brownie chunks are the best, but unfortunately the ratio of brownie to ice cream is not usually very high, in fact it's pretty low. This leads me to my main point. When it comes to the brownie bits I will go out of my way to get them. No matter how sneaky I need to be I will eat all of them. I let someone else start it out, getting rid of the top and as soon as I see a bit of brownie poking out of the chocolate I attack it with my spoon. I will dig and dig into that little pint to get all of the brownie into my stomach. But if I just dug everything up, it would be obvious that I dug everything up and that's when the trickiness comes in. After eating all the brownie, I even out the chocolate layer and then smooth it over. But that still makes things too obvious. Then I take little spoonfuls from the smoothed out layer to look like someone just took a normal portion and didn't eat all the brownie bits.I'm terrible.