THIS IS A JOKE (in terrible taste)

The Sadistic Pedophile is grotesque when it comes to sexual preferences. They severely abuse their victims and sometimes kill them. They search for the perfect victim and they will travel long distances to gain access to the victim. They stalk and then attack and/or abduct their victim. Their abductions are typically designed to confuse the parents and the authorities. This type of pedophile is usually intelligent and middle to upper class. They like to be on the move and they like change.

Know who else likes change?
I'm so sorry for this, I really am, but a friend of mine needed a laugh and this worked. I like Obama but this just hit a funny bone.

Stuff About Me

• My favorite color is rainbow
• I'm illiperate, I can't read lips
• I can grow a nice beard but no luck on the mustache
• When it comes to buying deodorant and soap it takes me forever to decide what to buy
• I like to curl up and sit in a nice clothes dryer after the clothes are taken out
• I don't like that my cellphone can't spell bagel automatically, it just stops after acid
  

Saw this on the subway

Graffiti can be enjoyable and deep, it's not limited to tagging.
On a less serious note, I suck at keeping the posts up and to make it look like I write more I'm going to put up my list of subway characters on the next post.

Quotes

• "I just had all this junk in my trunk"
• "I don't like thrift stores, I think they are cheap and used"
• "You smoking super crack and diesel fuel"
• "Ladies and Gentlemen I am not selling candy for my basketball team. I am selling candy to put a little extra money in my pocket." (at least he was honest)

Things I Want to See

• Easy Baked Oven
• Transformers: Robots in Denial
• Sleep Enhancing Toothpaste (Edit: It already exists)
• Car Air Freshener Necklaces/Bling
• Infant criminals (3 year old sues 5 year old for rape)
• Love Glove (like Ove Glove but for something else...)
• Ink blots on the subway as a result of hobo stains
• Cute animals like penguins replacing people in horror and drama movies
  

I love the subway

I was on the E train very around 7 am on a Saturday and it was fairly crowded. All the seats were taken. The resident hobo was walking up and down the car and he smelled disgusting. I had a stuffy nose and could still smell him. Unfortunately I was in the middle of the car and he kept walking by me and stopping right in front of me. I was scared he was going to start talking at me so I avoided eye contact. After a couple minutes of pacing he went on to the next car. Two seconds later a woman stood up from her seat as something started to come out of her mouth. Then she hunched over and finished vomiting. She tried to catch it with her slave but to no avail. The vomit to floor impact echoed throughout the train. Everybody looked as she walked to stand by the door and hide her face. She was standing next to a friend of her's that was sitting down and her friend was yelling in Spanish. A couple of times her friend got up, scared she would get thrown up on. Some people were trying to discretely cover their noses some just buried them in the arms of the people next to them. At some point a man offered her a pack of tissues and after two more stops she just sat back down again. Many people got off but the puddle remained.
NOTE: the picture is not the actual train where it happened

My New Book, maybe

Before I write about my winter break stories if I ever do here is a picture for the cover of my book in progress